Saying Yes when we don’t want to

Maybe you tipped extra because the waiter complimented you, overpaid for a โlimited editionโ item, or went along with the crowd even though you had doubts. These moments arenโt coincidencesโtheyโre the result of powerful psychological triggers that influence our decisions, often without us realizing it.
In his book: โInfluence: The Psychology of Persuasionโ, Dr. Robert Cialdini uncovered six principles that explain why we comply:
1. Reciprocation: People feel obligated to return favors, even if unsolicited.
2. Commitment and Consistency: We strive to stay consistent with our past commitments, even if they no longer make sense. Even a small “yes” today can lead to a much bigger “yes” tomorrow.
3. Social Proof: We look to others for cues on how to behave, especially in uncertain situations. If everyone else is doing it, we assume it must be right.
4. Liking: Weโre more likely to say โyesโ to people we like. Physical attractiveness, shared similarities, and even flatteryโgenuine or notโcan make us more compliant.
5. Authority: We obey figures of authority, often without question. A title, uniform, or even a confident demeanor can make someoneโs influence irresistible.
6. Scarcity: We want what we canโt have. Limited-time offers and scarcity tactics create urgency, making us act before we think.
We often comply without thinkingโbased on pre-programmed psychological triggers.
Even knowing these tricks doesnโt make you immune. We are all wired to respond automatically to these triggers
Understanding why we say โyesโ can help us make better choicesโso that the next time someone hands you a free flower, youโll know exactly whatโs coming next.